TONY sent his poem ‘The man who made Slim Dusty famous’ to Culture Corner, our weekly feature that canvasses Ingham arts.

The poem tells the story of how Gordon Parsons ripped off our iconic Abergowrie poet Dan Sheahan by claiming he wrote ‘A pub with no beer’ (pop into Lee’s Hotel on Lannercost Street, Ingham, if you want the full story).

It was so good that – we invited Tony to be our regular satirical writer.

This was his response:

I’m Tony Maloney – an Irish-Italian

Some people call me the leprechaun stallion

My grandpa’s from Dublin and Nona’s from Sicily

That makes me dinki di Aussie officially

I married a girl and I’d soon drank the dowry

So I found a job out in sweet Abergowrie

I work as a farm hand – and I write a bit

But anyone who’s read my work says it’s…well, not great

So how I got this gig is anyone’s guess

But I’ll write from now on in the Ingham Daily Press!

Not a paper in print now for our ‘loved town

It’s a sign of the times – and it’s getting people down

Since they told of the close it’s the word on all lips

No paper! Not even to wrap Jonny’s chips!

But d’you know what sent me most into a rage?

No tribute at all on the rag’s last front page!

At least there’ll be news of the people I love

On the IDP site – maybe I’ll grow to love

Keeping people connected in a different way

And making me’ satire out of what MPs say

Now I’ve told them I want my ident’y protected

If I’m to help them keep old Ingham connected

So I’ll write every week – or at least once a month

But as for ya letters, you’ll get no response

This valley holds magic that flows out in rhyme

So when I’m not working – I have a good time

I sing and I rap and I dance and be merry

I went overseas once on the Maggie ferry

To show off my culture there’s things that I do

Like boiling up pasta with my Irish stew

I’m crass and I’m crude and…did I say I don’t mind a drink?

My wife was heard tellin’ her ma’ that I stink

Now stallion I would be by my own design

But I’ve got stumpy legs and chase whisky with wine

I’m good with a horse – and so those folks who know me

Will tell you I’m more of a leprechaun pony.