TONY sent his poem ‘The man who made Slim Dusty famous’ to Culture Corner, our weekly feature that canvasses Ingham arts.
The poem tells the story of how Gordon Parsons ripped off our iconic Abergowrie poet Dan Sheahan by claiming he wrote ‘A pub with no beer’ (pop into Lee’s Hotel on Lannercost Street, Ingham, if you want the full story).
It was so good that – we invited Tony to be our regular satirical writer.
This was his response:
I’m Tony Maloney – an Irish-Italian
Some people call me the leprechaun stallion
My grandpa’s from Dublin and Nona’s from Sicily
That makes me dinki di Aussie officially
I married a girl and I’d soon drank the dowry
So I found a job out in sweet Abergowrie
I work as a farm hand – and I write a bit
But anyone who’s read my work says it’s…well, not great
So how I got this gig is anyone’s guess
But I’ll write from now on in the Ingham Daily Press!
Not a paper in print now for our ‘loved town
It’s a sign of the times – and it’s getting people down
Since they told of the close it’s the word on all lips
No paper! Not even to wrap Jonny’s chips!
But d’you know what sent me most into a rage?
No tribute at all on the rag’s last front page!
At least there’ll be news of the people I love
On the IDP site – maybe I’ll grow to love
Keeping people connected in a different way
And making me’ satire out of what MPs say
Now I’ve told them I want my ident’y protected
If I’m to help them keep old Ingham connected
So I’ll write every week – or at least once a month
But as for ya letters, you’ll get no response
This valley holds magic that flows out in rhyme
So when I’m not working – I have a good time
I sing and I rap and I dance and be merry
I went overseas once on the Maggie ferry
To show off my culture there’s things that I do
Like boiling up pasta with my Irish stew
I’m crass and I’m crude and…did I say I don’t mind a drink?
My wife was heard tellin’ her ma’ that I stink
Now stallion I would be by my own design
But I’ve got stumpy legs and chase whisky with wine
I’m good with a horse – and so those folks who know me
Will tell you I’m more of a leprechaun pony.